today is supposed to be happy .. exciting .. nervous .. fuck, its velentines. why the fk does he have to die . his parents loved him so much ..
quarreled with his mum .. jumped off the window ..
valentines is supposed to be for loving each other parents, children and all .. and his parents loved him so much ..
they meant him well, scolding him for his mistakes .. he couldnt take the stress any longer ..
they provided him with so much, a son they had for 15 years .. he ended it in those few seconds ..
my parents were crying .. we had kneo nthat boy for 2 years .. he was such a nice guy .. i remember when i first met him .. he showed me his room .. showed me his toy models .. talked with me .. he was a cheerful person ..
i ate with him .. laughing at the jokes he told me ..
now all that's left .. is so little ..
hes at hospital ..
the doctors say he wont live through this ..
he probably wont live through today ..
and his parents loved him so much ..
they didnt mean to stress him out ..
and i miss him his cheerful character so much ..
and it was just so ironic in school .. the mrgerald said .. what a tragedy.. mrsliow showed us the song .. the hero in you .. its a long road .. the emptieness you felt will dissapear ..
and it was supposed to be a happy day ..
the time my father received the call .. was at 12.01..
on valentines day ..
8:27 PM
life really doesn't like me ..
waking up every morning feeling refreshed ..
leave the class at the end of the day feeling happy ..
reach my house feeling relatively alright ..
turn off my computer feeling confused and depressed ..
come out of my shower feeling empty ..
typing a new post, feeling fucked as i review how screwed up life has gotten me..
when you said you hated me, i was so hurt .. cause i loved you so much .. i spilt everything out to some people .. and they helped make me happy .. and i slowly got over you .. since you had billy ..
when you said you loved me and you dumped billy .. i knew i should have been happy .. but i couldnt bring a smile to what you had said .. cause deep inside it still hurt that much .. after you said at the start if it was okay with me being your friend only ..
when you said no one could replace me .. i thought of billy .. how you had loved him more than me even though for only a few days .. all you wanted was whether i still liked you ..
i still dont know the answer .. i dont have it .. i dont know when i will have it ..
you said when you needed me i was never on ..
you said when you needed a hug i wasnt there ..
you said when you needed a kiss i couldnt be by your side ..
baby .. my head tells me to love you but my heart tells me not to .. cause it doesnt wna be hurt again ..
i know you will be reading this zoie .. how you knew i was troubled .. hah, you know me all too well .. you were not the only person i lied to that i was alright .. i lied to everyone by my actions at school .. only those who came to my blog ever knew,..
i need a bit of guidance .. need some advice .. and tonnes of cheering up ..
should i have met you in the first place anyway .. the happiness you gave me .. the sadness you wrought .. i dont know ..
8:27 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2008
eh ,..
i broke up with kj.. i got over her..
she got her new boy.. she ditched me..
whenever she talks to me i feel empty, cause she treat me like her best buddy only..
i had to deal with the confusion she got me..
during the chinese new year i got over our relationship more or less..
and then she asked me questions..
what would you do if i said i love you..
what would you do if i kissed you..
would your answers change if we were together again..
i answered.. i would feel empty..
i said, i dont know..
and for the last one.. i dont know what to answer..
then after a long time she asked me whether i still liked her..
i wonder if she knows whenever she talks to me i feel empty..
depressed..
when ever she laughs and i feel dead inside..
` xD LOVE you? says (12:11 PM): hahahaha
and when i was just being happy from chinese new year..
` xD LOVE you? says (12:13 PM): well now i HATE u
..
12:03 PM
Saturday, February 9, 2008
happy chinese new year too all! xP although it might be a bit late, but who cares.
these 3 days were so tiring leeeeei xD cause every night sleep at like 2am cause we always go baifang till very late heh.
on wednesday..
after coming back from school, celebrating mithunn's early birthday, i stay home play computer lohr, nothing else to do. then at 5plus we had mini-reunion dinner with parents, grandad and aunt. the rest of my relatives on dad's side were in fuzhou and one uncle in fuzhou too, the other in hong kong working. all different places lah, =x cannot have full reunion dinner.
then after eating all the food we went to grandma's house, the one on my mother's side. then we down there having a lot of fun, play play with all the cousins, play xbox, watch tv, fool around. then at 12am we watch fireworks!
it was so freakin' close, like 30 metres away and cause i was taking the video it was so looooooooud! i one hand cover ear other holding handphone video. that why one ear was like hurting a lot. but my cousins all very noisy throughout the video loh haha. and the one blocking the video at one certain point was my bro. so fat loh, block my camera. then the noisy guy was my other cousin xP and after that we fooled around as usual, then at 2am went back home sleep.
on thursday..
went back to grandma's house again, haha. then this time is bai nian, get ang pau! xP then got a lot ang pau, but since i so gd boy, i give them to my mum. waaahaha. then she keep the money and stuff. then after that nothing to do at first play with cards, play blackjack, play some card games and what heartattack, hit each other hands so pain xD but after that really bored, so my cousin put some animes wan us choose. but my brother and some younger cousin all want digimon.. o_o, so i got to let them all. then watch the lousy animation and stuff xD, after watch finish we watched ragnarok anime, slightly better than digimon, then watch naruto. then at night 2am go home again xDD haha. that day supposed to go to my dad's cousin's place de, but we postpone it to friday xP
on friday..
i woke up veeeeeeeeery late! very tired mah! then at 10wake up, by then my aunt and everyone all at my house le! then i met my umm, cousin? lols, she this year 19 years old loh, and at first i was doing econs project thing mah, so never talk so much. but after that talk a bit more, but also not that much, then after that i took down her phone number then after that i got to go grandma house agaaaaaaaain xP then my aunt gave us a "lecture" and we were talking a lot of nonsence and we were like laughing our heads off xP she kept telling us what happened when we were young and stuff and we kept making funny remarks xP then they all went for movies at 6 and i couldnt go. cause at 7.30 i going to my dad's cousin's place. then i play some psp, watch my cousin read her fanfics, which were so freakin' boring. then at 8 reach dad's cousin's house, they play some card games and my dad kept making fun of his cousin, who was 37 and single. and we were all laughing a lot cause everyone kept joking around. and at 2 we left and went home to sleep.
on saturday, today..
morning i wake up 10am and i was supposed go cheangming's place. then i go ask rachel where her house was and rachel was like "hey! cheang ming's house is at pasir ris." lols what the heck, thats like 24 stops. then go bath, change clothes sit mrt, took like 1 hour 30 minutes then reach pasir ris. i only go there, walk a bit, go food court, eat lunch together, then rachel and cheangming go for their barbeque, leave me and plato. waaaaaaalau, make me come all the way from one side of the island to the next then run away. lols
rachel very bored, so decided to take picture of me eating my lunch,
another pic by rachel, the other guy in it is plato, he so informally dressed..
then after that i go grandma house. when reach her house and went into room i saw my cousin sleeping! haha, she was sleeping with her hello kitty toys. xP and my cousin was with her, pei her while she sleeping.
this my my cousin chloe! she very young loh, like 2 or 3 only x)
this one another cousin belinda in the picture xP
and dont know why today i feel like taking pictures of everyone! so, with my camera, i went around taking random photos of some people, some were so reluctant to be taken and ran away at sight, while the others who were more willing stayed for a while x) and these are what i got.. xP!
this one is zachary! x) he always cover my camera before i finish 3.2.1. so i must 5.4.3, then take photo to trick him xDD wahaha.
another photo of zachary! xP his front tooth drop off so obvious xD
this is my youngest cousin for now! only 9 months old!
my baby cousin! only that he looks blurblur in this pic x)
this is zhouzhi! giving a dumb look
me playing with my cousins, see i so good lohr, pei them x)
group photo! everyone sitting on me and my cousin. on above me wearing blue shirt is my brother, the top right is zhouzhi's twin, zhoujie, one beside me is another cousin, janet. x) group pyramid stackup! haha. the one behind is my uncle, sitting way back in background.
lols, this one more people, and since zachary cannot find spot in center came to front to sit on me, you can see how squeezed i was lol,
my uncle! this is the one give me info for my econs project de x)
this one is video i bully my cousin belinda.. xP LOL
then after this fun time i went to my dad's friend's house. he had bbq and he cook lamb chop, pork chop, lamb leg. waah, so nice x) i ate 1 pork chop and 4 lamb chops and a lot of potatoes that he made xP so nice sia. if everyday got this dinner i become like hongwei size ler x) my dad's friend was uncle albert. he also invited a lot of my dad's friends that i knew xP and they have small children le! we had a lot of meat, potatos and chocolaaaate. and my parents drank a lot of red wine.
then after that we went to uncle albert's house and my bro and all the small kiddies played with the WII console.
then i was walking about, talking to all the xiao didi and xiao mei mei. then i found uncle jason's daughter and i found her quite cute loh! x) she that pink dress girl on the top picture. she very quiet de, and when u ask her she will very shy shy xDD. then i got to be the one to "allocate" games. cause my brother and some other about his age de people go take the WII console dun let the other xiao didi and xiao meimei play.
but in the end everything was okay bah, cause a xiao didi complain to his dad and the dad come ask why no let him play LOL.
in the end i was playing a psp with uncle jason's daughter. xD. then must ask, you want to play. then she will nod her head. then after each round she return me and i help her set next game. lols. then that night 10+ went home, but before that i took picture with uncle jason's 2 daughters and one nephew.
lols i just realized after i reached home she looks a bit like noelle in the picture, duno why. but in real life she looks a bit different loh xP
first post i put pictures de. since my previous one the computer simply refuses to recognise my memory card. too bad loh. x) but i try lah, get the photos in haha
11:30 PM
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
ahh fux! what the fux is wrong with this godam week. its already fuxed up enough that ive broken but this shittin week, losing my wallet. frag lah, this bullshit.
its supposed to be chinese new year and a happy occasion but this week is seriously too faxked up to be true == breaking up already make me depress then this losing money, 160$ heart pain lah.
gan lah, can curse whole gdamn day for all i fxing care. got tell some people but cant spill my feelings. if someone piss the shit out of me i will rap3 him == trust me on that
why can't my good friends be around me when i need them, fux the distance, i wna be in shanghai, fcuk i need to talk to sam, i need to talk to him so badly, i need to talk to candia, i need to talk to someone..
i fken miss kj, shit, we broke, shit, i miss her. why doesnt life give me a freaking break,.. wan happen also happen on different week mah.
anyone.. talk to me.. sigh..
7:46 PM
Monday, February 4, 2008
heeeeya people, so many more stuff happened than usual, x) got one happy, got one to anticipate, got one serious, got one sad.. 4 events that happened or will come to happen soon, hah. not including common tests..
lets start with the happy one.. i went out with my shanghai friends on sunday! at first go with lester to paragon there sitting the bus, and saw kenneth! but stupid bus skip one stop when lester was in urgent need for toilet.. so we ran back to paragon and found one toilet for him to relieve himself. but after that cannot find kenneth for a while, then we noticed him in front of paragon sitting at stone steps wearing this '90s shirts and shorts and he also wearin what branded watch and branded specs lah, rich ass. also got what touchphone, jealous sia me.
then plato and rachel and cheangming plus her bro came and we just went around window shopping then went to this bookstore to buy stationaries, roflmao, then later went to this toy shop selling all kinds of wierd crap and some innovative goods x) laughed at the crap, bought the good stuff, prolly for some people's birthday gift, and plato bought this gdam rubber bawl. and this smiley face thingy that was like half a ball with its insides scooped out. when you invert it and wait for 2 seconds it will apparently pop up and hit whatever is up there, or wherever you direct it too.
then we left the shop and got some lunch, ate some oct balls and had some random jap/korean food. went to arcade again after that, all lost to me at basketball thing x) but cant blame them, they never play for such a long time too, and i aint that pro either, yeh. played some sniping, some aircraft game. play 1 hour plus then already 3.15. appalled sia, reach paragon at 11 then one blink 4 hours gone.
then went around again, lester looking for billabong and shoes, as per normal, then the rest of us following him. then lester complainhis leg very pain, then make me piggy back him. then everyone was laughing said we looked obscene and everyone was looking at us. then he come down then run around saying hes not ghay xD.
after tht we went burger king to eat, lester and plato playin with their rubber balls and smiley face half scooped insides thing, bouncing it everywhere, including the food. then one of the managers said we making too much noise aaaaaha.
then after that we walk a bit more then farewell ler. supposed me and lester go but rachel tagged along. then at the mrt platform we saw MARCUS. he came back from shanghai and was with his 16yr old girlfriend. laaaawls, what a small world man. he went shopping teddies for his girlfriend and was bullying lester a bit. then after a while i pointed out to lester we sitting wrong train then went to other direction the train. 45 minutes reach back chinese garden then we went home ler.
then this is the anticipating part, part1. this saturday got another meet up at cheangming's house! HAH. and got more people coming loh, what bryan valerie daokai and some others. surely fun de lah haha. but today monday only, still have 4 more days plus a few more hours x)
now is serious one.. i became an ESCORT today! escort anna home! ah well, make sure she gets home without fainting and stuff lols. maybe got more in between those lines but aint gna give more explanations to it.
actually escorting also quite fun lah hah, met sooriyah at school then walk to station together. sooriyah keep talking a lot of crap as usual, keep making me laugh. but after he leave become so quiet and solo liao. then escort escort escort, reach below her house then say gdbye and i go back my house xD take 1 hour lohr, dun play play. i also dun have a salary. if mr chua never ask me to do it i would not have done it lohr please, haha.
then sad liao, today i broke up with her. HER. lasted for some time i have to admit. gaaaah. i wna talk to my secret confidants. pour my content out to them, make me feel better. cant talk too much here, cause buay song and bo liao people always talk crap and nonsence de. but yeah, from sept till now, was quite happy.. i have my reasons and she has her own. aint gna hold on to her unless i have what it takes..
alright lighten my load with anticipation part2!
ITS SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY SOON!
nanananana! you never told it it earlier! so i couldnt get yr present at paragon.. but heck, i will try to get a present for you! give you an early present and wishing you a great holiday man!
okay! now is commontest. dabian english cher gime 9/25 nia. fail fail fail. stupid ghay dabian set record for me to fail when i dun have slack. maybe that day tired nia, but she nvr teach us format loh, what can copy. nvr tell us still give us this gdam paper. so short and so dumb, she looks comical when she does her hand movements. and she got pwnt by ivan! HAH. memorable.
then got chinese paper, that day kena chinese block and writer's block write 300 words, so marks quite low, kena penalised. lycia like mouth big lidat, if yre reading then pardon my frankness, like dno when to diam like that. always talk so much, not needed also talk. you tell her secrets then its your worst decision of your life.
then math commontest! aiyo 26/35. also bad, miss my A1 by 0.7 marks. dabian, cannot round up meh. that 0.7 marks cost me a lot of grieve. oh yeah! sooriyah when cher say his name he get top, his eyes like POPPED OUT- lols, that picture if taken was PRICELESS. laughed my ass out, xD
but then today just take history test, this test make me worry so much loh, dunid read also can score. but only thing is no time. take 5 minutes to think then no time liao.. then cher also start late loh, start late end early! no fair lah,. but then after that mithunn left today. poor him, man's worst horror hanging on to him for second week liao.
and next week. physics commontest! dno whether he scaring us or what nia, mrkoh last year say our paper he be very evil, then in the end quite easy x) but later this year he sadist how ._. hard to say, must study lei. haha.
oo, reminded me! this year i handed up more homework than last year! other than chem.. but! YAY! gd for me hah.
haha type so much ler, take so long. tomorrow still need 5.30 wake up sia. go school finish my physics lab paper and amath. jia you wo! x)
c yeh all fer now then ha.
btw! photos would be edited it soon! ^^
9:24 PM
Saturday, February 2, 2008
waaaaha. new blog once again. lets see how long this one will last me x)
mm, first month of school over ler, more fun than i thought it was gna be haha. to think one short month encompassed so many events x) we even had a 2 nighter camp and first class outing already..
ah well, but pass so long ler so lets settle on a topic tht happened lately! like ytd at jurong point! x), ytd went there with lester to buy a new wallet for him, then went to look at some sport shoes.. and then ate at the food court. then lester was so obsessed with finding commonwealth students after i said lycia and the rest were going there for a movie. after he found a big group, and it actually was them, he got so enthu he was like "weixuan weixuaN! faster finish your food! come see this commonwealth people! got big group! one is fat fat one and got this very noisy girl, apparently hes describing hongwei and lycia, then dragg me over. now what to do? say hi to each other lohr! xD..
after that we went to the arcade and played this basketball game together, even though i scored 150 i still won him >x), but my arm so sore after playing from throwing the bballs.. then follow his aunt forcefully making him buy clothes and see him buay tahan the look so funny xD laugh my ass off. then lidat 2 hours gone liao, then bump into lycia they all 2 more times they say i stalkin them sia. where i stalk them. stalk them also get nth sia boring.. xD
mm.. ytd maybe a little boring bah.. but tomorrow i got 2 choices.. first, follow dad sit one of his ex-boss de big big boat, or.. second, go out with the rest of the gang who came back from shanghai to orchard road! so tough choices.. either meet friends or go discover something new! wonder which one i will choose tomorrow.. but either choices i must still find time to study for commontest. stupid test, once a week. stress seh, and i very lazy boy. those who knew me well enough will know that hah. i dun even hand up my normal homework sometimes, chem phys chinese. lols,
mm, waha, i think soon i will pok someone liao x), i gave him warning so many times he dunwan listen not my prob liao loh, later he piss me off too much i rap3 him then he know xD. i knw i will pok someone but i dno who i will pok, hah, see who piss me off first. later people see me then they tio appaled, omfg! weixuan violent! xD..
till that day comes, i'll be waiting. x) for many things to happen
